Segments
Produced and directed by Peter Farrelly, written by Bill O'Malley, Rocky Russo, and Jeremy Sosenko
Single businesswoman Beth goes on a blind date with Davis, the city's most eligible bachelor. When they arrive together at a restaurant, Beth is shocked when he removes his scarf, revealing a pair of testicles dangling from his neck. Over dinner, it confuses her that he fails to acknowledge his anatomical abnormality, and nobody seems to be surprised by it. When two friends of Davis come by, one of them convinces him to give Beth a kiss. Davis agrees, but when he kisses her on the forehead, his neck testicles are dangling near Beth's mouth, causing her to scream and break off the kiss.
Cast
Hugh Jackman as Davis
Kate Winslet as Beth
Roy Jenkins as Ray
Rocky Russo as Jake, The Waiter
Anna Madigan as Abby
Julie Claire as Pam
Katie Finneran as Angie
Directed by Will Graham, written by Will Graham & Jack Kukoda
Recently moved in, Sean and Clare have coffee with their new neighbors, Robert and Samantha who have a teenage son, Kevin, whom they home-school. They begin inquiring about the homeschooling, and Robert and Samantha describe how they replicated a full high school experience, going as far as hazing, bullying, ostracizing, and giving out detentions.
To make the experience as awkward as possible, like "real high school," they threw parties that excluded Kevin, Samantha instigated Kevin's "first kiss" and Robert revealed romantic feelings for Kevin. Visibly disturbed, the neighbors end up meeting Kevin, who says he is going out and gives them the impression that all is fine: until he reveals a doll made of a mop with Samantha's face on it, referring to the doll as his girlfriend.
Cast
Jeremy Allen White as Kevin Miller
Liev Schreiber as Robert Miller
Naomi Watts as Samantha Miller
Alex Cranmer as Sean
Julie Ann Emery as Clare
Directed by Steve Carr, written by Rocky Russo & Jeremy Sosenko
Julie and Doug have been in a relationship for a year. When he attempts to propose, she reveals that she is a coprophiliac, asking him to defecate on her in the bedroom. Urged by his best friend Larry and others to go along with it, he eats a large meal and drinks a bottle of laxative prior to the event.
Wanting foreplay, Julie is angered when Doug wants to finish, and she runs into the street. Chasing after her, he is then hit by a car and graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere. She cradles him and apologizes; covered and surrounded by his excrement on the road, she exclaims that it is the "most beautiful thing" she has ever seen and accepts his marriage proposal.
Cast
Anna Faris as Julie / Vanessa
Chris Pratt as Doug / Jason
J. B. Smoove as Larry
Jarrad Paul as Bill
Maria Arcé as Christine
Aaron LaPlante as Friend
Directed by Griffin Dunne, written by Matthew Alec Portenoy
Neil is working the night shift at a local grocery store when his ex-girlfriend Veronica comes through his line and they begin arguing. Soon it turns into sexual discussion and flirtation as they lament over their relationship. Unbeknownst to them, Neil's intercom microphone broadcasts the entire explicit conversation throughout the store, where various elderly people and vagrants tune in. After she leaves in tears, the customers agree to cover his shift while he goes after her.
Cast
Kieran Culkin as Neil
Emma Stone as Veronica
Arthur French as Old Man
Brooke Davis as Tall lady
Josh Shuman as Short Man
Directed by Steven Brill, written by Claes Kjellstrom & Jonas Wittenmark & Tobias Carlson and Rocky Russo & Jeremy Sosenko
A developing company is having a meeting in their headquarters over their newly released product, the "iBabe", a life-sized, realistic replica of a nude woman which functions as an MP3 player. The boss listens to his various workers argue over the placement of a fan that was built into the genital region of the iBabe, which is cutting off the penises of teenage boys who attempt to have sex with them. The board members then agree to strongly emphasize the dangers of the product via its new commercials.
Cast
Richard Gere as Boss
Kate Bosworth as Arlene
Jack McBrayer as Brian
Aasif Mandvi as Robert
Darby Lynn Totten as Woman
Marc Ambrose as "Chappy"
Cathy Cliften as iBabe #1
Cherina Monteniques Scott as iBabe #2
Zach Lasry as Boy
Co-edited and directed by James Duffy and written by Will Carlough
Robin and his cohort Batman are in Gotham City at a speed dating event seeking out a bomb threat by their nemesis Penguin. While Robin attempts to connect with various women through speed dating including Stacey, Lois Lane, and Supergirl, Batman encounters his ex Wonder Woman and attempts to stop Penguin from detonating Supergirl, who later turns out to be the Riddler in disguise, which Batman already knew and was screwing with Robin, who kissed "her" moments before Batman exposed the Riddler's ruse. Lois Lane tells Robin on their speed date that six months ago she broke up with Superman, who turns out to be a stalker/sexual predator by ejaculating on her bedroom window. Further playing with the popular discussion of Superman's sperm, like in the film Mallrats, Lois Lane reveals that he uses his semen as a hair gel to keep the spit curl consistent.
Cast
Justin Long as Dick Grayson / Robin
Jason Sudeikis as Bruce Wayne / Batman
Uma Thurman as Lois Lane
Bobby Cannavale as Clark Kent / Superman
Kristen Bell as Kara / Supergirl
John Hodgman as The Penguin
Leslie Bibb as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman
Will Carlough as Riddler
Katrina Bowden as Stacey
Written, co-edited, and directed by Jonathan van Tulleken
A faux-Public service announcement about children stuck in machines and how adults' criticism of these particular machines affects the feelings of the children stuck inside them. This commercial was paid for by the "Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children Inside Machines".
Directed by Elizabeth Banks, written by Elizabeth Wright Shapiro
Nathan and Amanda are watching television after school at his house as their first "middle school" date. When they begin to kiss, his older brother Mikey enters the living room and makes fun of them. Amanda then discovers she is menstruating and tries to hide it. When Nathan sees blood on her pants, he panics and believes her to be bleeding to death. He causes a debacle, later including Nathan and Mikey's father Steve and Amanda's father.
Amanda calls them out on their stupidity, embarrassed to know that she's getting her first period in front of them and they don't know what to do about it. When she leaves with her father, Nathan yells that the process of keeping the lining of her internal organs intact by inserting his erect phallus into her vagina is much too complicated and Mikey agrees. Steve cheers them up by farting in front of them. As Mikey goes to the bathroom, Nathan and Steve watch a game on television, which has a very graphic Tampax commercial in which a girl gets eaten by a shark due to her menstruating.
Cast
Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Mikey
Chloë Grace Moretz as Amanda
Jimmy Bennett as Nathan
Patrick Warburton as Steve, Nathan and Mikey's Father
Matt Walsh as Amanda's Father
Directed by Brett Ratner, written by Jacob Fleisher
Pete captures a leprechaun for his roommate, Brian, as a birthday present. Tying the leprechaun up in the basement, they demand he gives them a pot of gold. The obscene leprechaun threatens that his brother is coming to save him. When he arrives, Brian and Pete are shot at but ultimately kill both leprechauns. At the end of the segment, Pete reveals he has also caught a fairy who performs fellatio for gold coins.
Cast
Gerard Butler as Leprechaun #1 / Leprechaun #2
Johnny Knoxville as Pete
Seann William Scott as Brian
Esti Ginzburg as Storybook Fairy
Produced and directed by Peter Farrelly, written by Greg Pritikin
Donald and Emily are on a date together at a Mexican restaurant. Tired of typical first dates, Emily challenges Donald to a game of truth or dare. She dares him to grab a man's buttocks, and he follows by daring her to blow out the birthday candles on a blind boy's cake. The game rapidly escalates to extremes, in which both of them get plastic surgery and obscene tattoos, continuing to humiliate themselves.
When Donald and Emily arrive back at Emily's apartment, they praise their date. Donald tries to kiss her, but she rejects him, claiming she's not attracted to Asian men (which he was surgically altered to resemble). However, she calls him back to her, admitting she was joking and invites him to have sex with her as she flaunts her newly enlarged breasts.
Cast
Halle Berry as Emily
Stephen Merchant as Donald
Sayed Badreya as Large Man
Snooki as Herself
Caryl West as Waitress
Ricki Noel Lander as Nurse Elizabeth
Paloma Felisberto as Bachelorette Party Girl
Jasper Grey as Patron
Benny Harris as Blanco, The Bartender
Zen Gesner as Stripper
Directed by Rusty Cundieff, written by Rocky Russo & Jeremy Sosenko
Set in 1959, Coach Jackson is lecturing his all-black basketball team before their first game against an all-white team. Worried about losing the game, the timid players are lectured by the coach about their superiority in the sport over their white counterparts, which he expresses vulgarly. When the game ensues, the all-white team loses miserably yet rejoices in a single point they earn.
Cast
Terrence Howard as Coach Jackson
Aaron Jennings as Anthony
Corey Brewer as Wallace
Jared Dudley as Moses
Larry Sanders as Bishop
Jay Ellis as Lucious
Brian Flaccus as White Guy #1
Brett Davern as White Guy #2
Evan Dumouchel as White Guy #3
Sean Rosales as White Guy #4
Logan Holladay as White Guy #5
Mandy Kowalski as Cheerleader
Eric Stuart as The Narrator
Written and directed by James Gunn
Played mid-credits, Amy worries that her boyfriend Anson's animated cat Beezel is coming between them. Beezel seems to detest Amy and anyone who comes between him and Anson, but he only sees Beezel as innocent. One day, Amy witnesses Beezel masturbating to summer vacation photos of Anson in a swimsuit. He attacks and violently urinates on her.
Anson still finds his pet innocent but Amy threatens to leave if he doesn't get rid of Beezel. Caring more about his relationship, he agrees to find a new home for him. That night, from a closet, Beezel tearfully watches the couple make love (whilst sodomizing himself with a hairbrush and dry humping a stuffed teddy bear).
The next day when it comes time to take Beezel away, he is nowhere to be found. Amy goes outside to look. Beezel then runs her over with a truck and attempts to kill her with a shotgun, but she chases him into the street and begins beating him with a shovel, which is witnessed by a group of children attending a birthday party at a neighboring house.
When Anson approaches to see what is happening, Amy tries to explain Beezel's motives. He acts innocent and Anson sides with his cat. The children of the party then attack and murder Amy for beating up Beezel, stabbing her with plastic forks. Anson grabs him, as Beezel again fantasizes about French kissing his owner.
Cast
Elizabeth Banks as Amy
Josh Duhamel as Anson
Emily Alyn Lind as Birthday Girl
Michelle Gunn as Mommy
Christina Linhardt as Party Clown
Written and directed by Bob Odenkirk
In this deleted segment, Maude and George are looking for their breast-flashing daughter Susie with the help of a private eye, who is behind the camera with only one clue, a small video that features their daughter. The scene was included as an extra on the DVD and Blu-ray release.
Cast
Julianne Moore as Maude
Tony Shalhoub as George
Jordanna Taylor as Susie
Bob Odenkirk as Private Investigator
Written and directed by Steve Baker and Damon Escott
The second deleted segment follows a shy apprentice mortician named Wayne, who is secretly a necrophiliac. One night, a body he's having sex with is brought back to life from the pressure of his thrusts. His supervisor Bob suddenly walks in and believes Wayne has performed a life-saving operation of some kind. The staff at the hospital and the media congratulate him while a news reporter asks what he did to save her.
Unable to conjure an answer, one of the cops on scene tells everyone else they can just watch the security tapes to find out. As they rush to the security room, Wayne is given a personal thanks by the girl he revived, upon which he responds with an awkward "You're welcome". Unlike Find Our Daughter, this segment was not included in the home release, and instead premiered at the 2014 LA Comedy Festival.
Cast
Anton Yelchin as Wayne
Shane Jacobson as Bob
Maria Volk as Girl
Christopher Kirby as Cop