Acting First Lady of the United States
Her brother Chester was elected vice president in 1880, and he became president after the death of President James A. Garfield in 1881. In January 1883, President Arthur asked her to serve as White House hostess. As Arthur was a widower, there had been no first lady in the White House for the first year of his presidency. Her close relationship with Arthur's daughter reaffirmed his decision to choose her as White House hostess. McElroy accepted the position, though she faced some reluctance, as she was a naturally shy person, and it would require her to leave her family in Albany. McElroy quickly learned the responsibilities of White House hostess, and she described herself when starting as "absolutely unfamiliar with the customs and formalities".
McElroy began her role as acting first lady on January 24 when she participated in a diplomatic corps dinner. McElroy first hosted a reception of her own on January 27 and would host further receptions on Saturdays thereafter. As the nation was mourning President Garfield, Washington's social life was not as active as it would have been. When the winter social season ended in March, a farewell dinner was held in her honor, and she returned to Albany. McElroy returned to the White House on January 1, 1884, to assist in New Year's Day celebrations. McElroy then broke with the tradition of suspending social events during Lent, and she held weekly open-house receptions in the spring during which a hostess would be assigned to each room, culminating in an elaborate luncheon in the family quarters. McElroy also established the tradition of serving tea after White House receptions.
Arthur never gave McElroy formal recognition as a first lady out of respect for his late wife. Despite this, she proved to be a popular and competent hostess. Future First Ladies used the social function procedures she and her brother developed for decades. Her responsibilities typically involved hosting more formal events, as Arthur would host informal dinners himself if families were not attending. McElroy was noted for her hospitality while hosting, using a more personal style with guests. Her oldest daughter May and Arthur's daughter Nell often assisted with these duties; the presence of children "did away with any stiffness" while she was working. When decorating the White House, she often incorporated gas light and heavy use of plants.
McElroy presided over many events and honored former First Ladies Julia Tyler and Harriet Lane by asking them to help her receive guests at the White House. McElroy also held a private luncheon for former first lady Julia Grant. As McElroy was not the president's wife, McElroy had more flexibility regarding social customs and would attend social events in homes other than the White House. McElroy also declined to take up any causes or charity work as many first ladies had done. However, McElroy retained several benefits of her status as White House hostess, including use of the president's box at the theater, transport on U.S. Navy ships, and access to the president's retreat. While serving as White House hostess, supporters of the temperance movement would contact her to enforce a ban on alcohol in the White House, but McElroy declined to take such action.
Her final reception took place on February 28, 1885, five days before the end of the Arthur administration: 3,000 people attended (including Adolphus Greely), and 48 daughters of officials and the social elite assisted her. During the presidential transition period, McElroy befriended her successor Rose Cleveland, who would also be the sister of an unmarried president. They also had in common their hometown of Albany. On her final day as White House hostess, McElroy held a luncheon for Cleveland.
