Therapists question 'toxic' label as valid diagnosis

A Wall Street Journal report brought attention to roughly seven thousand estranged parents who responded to a survey. One third of them said they believed their adult child's therapist had played a part in recommending that the relationship end. Licensed counselors have noted that phrases once reserved for clinical settings now appear in everyday conversations on social media. Debra Fileta pointed out that every disagreement gets called gaslighting and every selfish act gets labeled narcissism. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration describes trauma as an event or series of events that feel physically or emotionally harmful and produce lasting effects on daily functioning. Family tension can leave painful memories without meeting that standard. On the Built Different Podcast Matthias Barker observed that estrangement seldom involves only one person at fault. Both sides usually hold some responsibility for the distance that formed over time. The account of King David and his son Absalom shows years of silence followed by open rebellion. Even after Absalom led an uprising David instructed his soldiers to deal gently with the young man and later grieved with the words that he wished he could have taken his son's place. Tim Clinton and Zach Clinton wrote that competent therapy leaves room for complexity rather than quick certainty. They noted that good counselors help people tell the difference between real danger and ordinary discomfort. The same counselors stressed that the profession can protect people from harm while still making space for humility and the possibility of restored ties. They pointed out that many families have not yet tried the slower work of apology and repeated conversations. Their column closed by recalling that the heart of the counseling field as they understand it leans toward repair when both people are willing to look at their own part in the break.